Call It What You Will

Warning: Gay Sexual Content
After blowing Evan, I started drifting even further apart from Mike because I couldn't stand going to his house and seeing Evan. Partially because I was disgusted with myself and partially because despite my self-disgust I still wanted suck his dick. I was a complete masochist but at that young age, I felt like I was losing my humanity.

It was a few months after my experience with Evan when I sat in my room alone. It was nighttime and I heard a knocking on my window. Without a second thought, I immediately ran outside my room but as I made my way through the door I could hear a familiar voice calling my name. It was Evan. I go back to my window and open it for him. He gave me a nervous smile and stood there for almost a full minute.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked. He cupped his dick through his basketball shorts and motioned me to grab it. My heart ached at the moment because it was something that I wanted to do but something I didn't want to do all at the same time. I shook my head and walked away. It killed me to do it. Evan looked offended. "You don't wanna suck my dick?" He asked. I swallowed (insert inappropriate joke) a lump in my throat. I can feel my eyes watering. I couldn't say "no". "I..."

He pulled his dick out and walked towards me. "Grab my dick. I know you want to," he said. I was backed against a wall as he towered me. He grabbed my hand and forced it on his dick. I started jerking without any participation on his part. I could feel his dick hardening under my palms. "Let me see you kiss my shit," he whispered in my ear. I weakened at his dominating voice. I fell to my knees and found myself looking straight at his cock.

I held his dick in my hand like a prize and kissed it. He licked his lips as he did the first time I blew him. He grabbed me by my face and forced me to look up at him. Almost expressionless, he asked, "Can you suck my lil homie off, too?"

I looked at him confused. He looked at my window and motioned someone in. The window (still unlocked) cracked open and someone climbed through. It was Evan's friend, Smoke. I didn't know anything about Smoke except his stupid nickname and what kind of car he drives. Smoke approached me with a sinister smile, unbuckling his belt. "I don't even know him!" I urged, getting up on my feet. "It's cool. He won't tell nobody," Evan said quickly. My mouth dropped. I couldn't believe what was going on. Evan told Smoke about our encounter and now wants a blowjob from me.

"So, you gone suck my dick or what?" Smoke asked. "I already saw you kiss his dick," he pointed to Evan, "so I know you want to." I was so pissed I could almost feel my blood boil. Evan had a true talent in making me feel like shit. "I ain't sucking nobody's dick. Get the fuck out!" I shouted at the two of them. Smoke was gone out the window before I could blink an eye but Evan stood, stunned. "You too," I said to him.

Evan eventually left. I didn't allow myself to cry about what happened this time. I told myself that it was my own fault. Evan only treated me like shit because I allowed him to treat me like shit. I couldn't let him do that to me anymore, I told myself.

But the story doesn't end there.

Later that night, around 1 or 2 AM, I was sleeping when I heard my name being called outside the window. It was Evan, again. I questioned if I should open the window or not but curiosity got the better of me. I opened the window and let Evan in. He sat on my bed and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry about telling Smoke about what happened," he started. "I really thought you would wanna give him some head, too."

I didn't say anything. What could I say to that? I just sat next to him on the bed, silently. I observed him. The summer night heat had a way of giving him perfectly moisturized skin. He wore a tank top so he arms were completely visible. His muscles tightened and my dick hardened. After all he'd put me through, I had forgiven him in that instant. "You still want me to kiss your dick?" I asked.

I finished what I started. It felt like sucking his dick for the first time because it was nothing like the first time. He laid back and relaxed as I pleasured him. I ran my hands across his glistening abs, enjoying every ripple. I loved feeling his hands run across my bare back and shoulders. The tighter he gripped me, the faster I jerked and sucked. It didn't take long for him to cum in my mouth.

"You always suck it right," he said as if that were 10th or 20th time I blew him. We stood around awkwardly for a few minutes afterwards. He kept asking me if I was okay and if I was still mad at him. Eventually, he worked his way out the window. Awkwardness ensued but I was expecting it. It was better than the aftermath of every other encounter I had. No break-ups and no crying. I finished my sleep completely fulfilled.

Looking back, I should've known it wasn't going to last long.